


The Smallest of Gestures

by Nebbles



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Mutual Pining, first crushes, sometimes you write 5k words for your own rarepair because it's just that soft and sweet, two soft boys in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-26 21:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20396332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebbles/pseuds/Nebbles
Summary: Ignatz loved to draw all things beautiful, and Ashe was very much that. He wanted to capture him on paper, to offer as a gift, and wondered if he was skilled enough to accomplish such a feat.---In which after pining after Ashe for nearly six years, Ignatz wonders if he should finally tell the other how he feels.





	The Smallest of Gestures

Reunions, for the most part, were to occur on joyous occasions. From a young age, the Millenium Festival was always something Ignatz envisioned. A gorgeous celebration, honoring Garreg Mach’s history and longevity, years of rich history and culture coming to life… it was supposed to be nothing short of heaven. To see the monastery in ruins, dust creeping along its corridors, was something unexpected. 

But it was still standing. He was alive, as was the rest of his class. The professor lived as well, and that to him mattered more than the festival he had anticipated five years ago. He wanted to see the monastery restored to its former beauty as well, but knew it was something that had to wait.

As he continued to explore the place he adored so much, Ignatz couldn’t help but wonder if students from the other classes were here as well. They had all made the same promise to reunite, no matter what. He hoped the war wouldn’t change that - that despite the world feeling as if it were on fire, they’d still be able to see the oath to the end. That, despite it all, they’d have each other.

There’s a specific person on his mind too. Ignatz could only pray he’s here - goddess, that he’s still alive. To have lost him… that isn’t a possibility he wants to consider. 

No. He knew Ashe was alive. He would never turn his back on a promise, nor his friends. Their own reunion couldn’t be too far off.

If there was one place Ashe would be, it’d be the library. He was ready to head towards there, and when a voice rang out in the night, stopping him in his tracks.

  
“Ignatz!” He hardly has time to think before he’s wrapped in an embrace - and it’s  _ warm.  _

“A-Ashe--” It takes a few seconds to get over the initial shock, the joy, every good feeling Ignatz can associate with his arms, “I can’t believe it’s you.”

“I heard everyone had come back. I wanted to find you.” Once he finally got a look at Ashe’s face, he’s awestruck. His hair framed his face in the most lovely way possible, and he’d gone from cute to absolutely stunning. His eyes and smile were gentle as ever, and Ignatz had missed the freckles scattered across his face. “It’s great to see you again.”

“I can say the same.” Ignatz had to make sure it wasn’t obvious he was admiring him. “I’m really happy to see you too.”

“I knew everyone would come back, but it still makes me happy to see them all…” Ashe broke the embrace between them. “You look great, by the way!”

“So do you.” Honestly, he’s surprised that got out with no stuttering or a blush adorning his cheeks. “It looks like you’ve been well - I’m glad.”

The air between them held many unsaid words, and Ignatz didn’t know where to start. He wanted to spend the entire night talking. They had their own duties to attend, had to keep the army’s defenses strong… but was now really the time to be selfish?

...Perhaps, for just a moment, he could allow himself to be. He could grant himself this moment with Ashe, and realized where he could start. After all, he’d only been holding onto it for quite some time.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Ignatz hurriedly dug into his bag, "I wanted to return this to you - even if it's five years late."

Ashe couldn’t help but laugh as the book was placed into his hands. "With everything that's happened, I almost forgot I lent it to you. Did you enjoy it, at least?"

"I did! I've never read such an amazing tale of chivalry," he smiled warmly, "I reread it a few times before we returned to the monastery, actually."

Ashe's eyes shined brightly, and for a moment, Ignatz felt his breath catch in his throat. "I'm glad you loved it - Loog and the Maiden of the Wind is my favorite! It was the book that gave me my love of reading, actually.” And he lent Ignatz such a special thing? “That conversation we had really does seem like it was yesterday… I had a lot of books I wanted to lend you."

"I'd love to read them, still, if I can." He knew time was limited, with having to defend against the Empire, but he really did want this. "I've missed the library in this monastery."

"I have too. It was always so nice to go there after classes, picking what new things to read, or revisit a favorite…" The sigh he gave was wistful. "I keep meaning to visit it again, actually. Would you like to come with me when I do?"

Again, Ignatz's breath was caught in his throat. He's sure Ashe meant nothing by it - it was nothing but an innocent request. Of course, he wouldn't necessarily say no were there romantic implications behind the sentiment. The longer he's staring, imagining endless possibilities, the longer Ashe looks at him with a slight air of concern.

"Oh, um, that sounds wonderful!" He quickly dismissed that train of thought. "Next time we happen to be free, I'd love to go with you."

"Great!" Ashe's smile threatened to melt him where he stood. "I'd offer right now, but I know Professor needed me for something. Would you like to go tomorrow?"

"I'm looking forward to it," he smiled back, hoping he's not obvious with how his voice sounds, "I'll see you around, then, Ashe."

"I'll see you later, then. And thank you for returning the book." The smile stayed on Ashe's face as he gave his goodbyes, and began to head off towards another part of the monastery. 

It was only then Ignatz realized he'd made a terrible mistake.

In between the pages of the book laid a note - one he had meant for Ashe to read five years ago. There was so much more on his mind, the idea of giving it a look over never occurred to him. Ashe was going to open the book. Of course he would. He wanted to reread it for comfort, for a reminder of old times.

And that stupid note was going to be there, which caused Ignatz to wonder if the goddess would be merciful in her ways and strike him down where he stood.

\---

"Aw, come on! I'm sure he'll find the note cute!" Raphael's optimistic outlook was comforting, but Ignatz wondered if it was the realistic one. "Ya wrote it years ago! I'm sure you two can have a laugh about it."

"It's  _ embarrassing!  _ I asked him out to the ball in a note! I couldn't even do it in person!" He dropped his head into his hands. "I remember every word on that note, too… what was I thinking?"

He could see himself, five years ago, crumpling up yet another piece of paper, dissatisfied with the words. He wasn't going to accept anything less than perfect, putting his feelings into words as such. If he was going to confess, his all had to be put into it. 

Goddess, why couldn't he just say it out loud? It was easier to talk with everyone else in the monastery - what made Ashe so different? How did his feelings manage to make such a simple task so difficult?

"So ya really like the guy - what's the big deal? You just wanted to tell him in a special way." Raphael pat him on the back. "And it's a way that's special to him, too."

Ignatz could still feel his face on fire in his hands. "I can only hope he thinks that way… you don't think it's silly to still like him after five years, do you?"

Of all the people Ignatz wanted to see again, from those not in the Alliance, Ashe was always at the front of his mind. 

"Not at all. You guys hit it off, right? Always talked about books, history, he'd ask about your art…" A fond smile decorated his face. "Pretty sure everyone in the class thought you two would make a cute couple."

Ignatz wondered if he was red enough to burn a hole through his hands.

"Heck, I was hoping to see you two at the ball together back then!" He heard a muffled noise from Ignatz, who shrank further into the chair. "Shame so much happened that year, huh? Never got to give it back."

"I… I know. But what if he doesn't feel the same? Or thinks I’m weird for sitting on a crush for five years?" Well, it was more than that. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'd hate to ruin our friendship because of this."

"He doesn't seem like that type of guy to me." Raphael offered a shrug. "He's really nice, ain't he? Even if he doesn't like you back, which I'm sure he does, he'd still wanna talk to you about books and all that!"

"I hope you're right…" He wanted his face to stop being so  _ red.  _ He didn't want to be that obvious - even if Ashe wasn't present, and Raphael would never judge his feelings, being this flustered was something else.

"Of course I am!" He clapped Ignatz on the back, "you're a total catch! He's probably waiting for you to ask him out!"

Ignatz gave a wheeze, unsure if it was from Raphael nearly knocking the lungs out of him, or if it was from the idea that Ashe was waiting for a prospective date. 

"Th-thank you," he coughed, adjusting his glasses, "I'll talk to him tomorrow.” 

\---

It wasn't until late that night Ashe found himself free from the war meeting. Long and exhausting, as they always were, he was happy to collapse on his old bed. It reminded him of times of old, back when Fodlan wasn’t at war. Back when things were simpler, when the world shone brighter. He was more than happy to see everyone again - knowing they were well kept his heart warm. Ashe gave a yawn, turning onto his side, eyes scanning the room he called home for a year.

The book he'd gotten back was resting on his desk, and he was able to pull himself up to get it. It really had been years since it rested on his bookshelf, and a bit of light reading before sleep sounded more than relaxing.

He propped himself on his stomach, and once he opened the book, a note fluttered onto his comforter. Curiously, he picked it up, unfolding the neatly folded sheet of paper.

_ Ashe, _

_ Thank you so much for lending me your favorite book! I really loved every word of it. I would love to talk with you more about it, and was hoping we could do so at the ball this month. If it isn't any trouble, I would love to take you as my date. I’m not much of a dancer, but we could find a way to enjoy ourselves, I’m sure. You could give me something else to read, perhaps?  _

_ I'd love to continue to talk to you - about anything and everything.  _

_ Let me know if you'll say yes next time we see each other. _

_ -Ignatz _

Ashe couldn't stop himself from smiling. It was so earnest, it was so sweet, it was so utterly Ignatz in every way possible. He traced a thumb over the words, cheeks warm, admiring to himself how nice the handwriting was. It came as no surprise to Ashe how lovely it was; Ignatz was a gifted artist with such an eye for detail. He channeled that into his writing - even the words were striking, a piece of art, in their own simple way.

Ashe didn't need a fancy way of being asked out. To him, this was perfect. Had the book gotten back to him five years ago, he would've said yes without hesitation. Even now, so far away from the idea of the ball, he wanted to say yes. He'd hoped that they would reunite, and finally admit the crush that has blossomed in his heart for so many years.

Should he say yes in a way that echoed the note? Or would it be better to just say it? Perhaps their library visit - which he wanted to call a date - could occur after some tea. They could talk about the book, just like they wanted, and perhaps Ashe could brush their hands together. They could sit a little closer to each other than they normally would. 

He held the note to his heart, lying on his back, wondering what type of tea Ignatz liked. 

Were it not the dead of night, sleep ready to claim him, he’d love to find out such a thing.

\---

As the sun’s rays swept through the monastery, Ignatz awoke to see some art supplies on the side of his bed, just barely unable to make it to the nightstand. His mind had been racing in several directions, going over confessions, the library visit, taking Ashe to watch the sunset… it was hard for the goddess to grace him with sleep. Sketching late into the night wasn’t anything new to him, especially when he’d done so at home, under the covers, mind on nothing but the war.

It was more than relieving for his mind to be giving him butterflies this time around. The fluttering in his stomach made him forget they were swept up in such a horrible ordeal - it made him feel like he was exactly what he desired: a young man in love, who was filling the leaves of his sketchbook with the face of the one he’d lost his heart to. Ignatz loved to draw all things beautiful, and Ashe was very much that. He wanted to capture him on paper, to offer as a gift, and wondered if he was skilled enough to accomplish such a feat.

He couldn’t start doubting himself now, no. The professor and the others spoke nothing but praise of his gift for art, how he should cast aside his parent’s desires and follow his own. That his path was worth following - his happiness was paramount. He wished it didn’t take five years to realize it, but he was beginning to finally see the merits in letting him lay out his own future. One where he was able to see the landscapes Fodlan had to offer him, what new art he could make. 

And he wanted Ashe by his side for it all. He knew Ashe had a family back home in Gaspard, and the idea of cozying up in the quiet, snowy land of Faerghus felt very warm. 

After all, he’d always wanted to paint snow capped mountains under a starry sky, untouched by humans. Who was to say he couldn’t do that by the side of someone he wanted to be with?

Awful as this war was, as unexpected as this being their reunion, Ignatz let himself think of matters of the heart, and the smile it brought to his face. 

He really was in love.

\---

Ashe had never considered himself a romantic - well, it’s more so he never gave the subject much thought. He’d read stories of love across plenty of novels, tales of knights protecting maidens and suitors who they had sworn to give their all to. The idea had always sounded wonderful, protecting a special someone alongside the general populace. While becoming a knight to honor Lonato was always at the forefront of his mind, having someone by his side certainly would be welcome.

And the last time he read a knight’s tale of love, he imagined Ignatz by his side. His cheeks burned brightly at the idea of whispers of their blossoming relationship sweeping throughout Faerghus, how they were the sweethearts of Gaspard. How he'd not only be there for the people, there would always be someone to come home to at the end of the day. To relax and curl himself against, especially when the nights grew colder.

Goddess, he was head over heels. 

He never imagined the when, where, or how of him falling in love. It was expected that he'd find it after graduation, once out in the real world. And then, he met Ignatz. Sweet and kind Ignatz, whose artistic talent that rivaled those of the illustrations he saw on Loog and the Maiden of Wind. Who he could talk to about any subject that came to mind, effortlessly, never a dull moment. And any moments of silence were comfortable - two people sharing some time together. Nothing more, nothing less.

The note was sitting on his desk, a reminder of what today’s goal was: confess. It was simple as that, no matter how much his heart was racing at the thought of it. Ignatz had to know the note was there, even if it was from so long ago. And the longer they waited… well, it felt silly. 

He brushed some hair behind his ear, a habit he’d acquired once it started to grow out. For the life of him, Ashe could not decide what book he wanted to let Ignatz borrow this time around. He had countless books on art and travel, but none of them felt good enough. There were books on history as well, and the goddess, and suddenly it felt as though he had too many options. 

“Maybe I should invite him to my room at this point and let him choose…” Ashe realized how forward that sounded, even when talking to himself. “I-I hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way…! Oh, I’d look so silly carrying around so many books on the way to the dining hall…”

He was still considering the idea of having tea between the two of them for breakfast. If he could just find the professor and ask what his favorite type was… in all the things they discussed, somehow, that never came up. 

“I could make him breakfast…” He was aware of some of his favorite dishes, at the very least. “Do I have time for that, though?”

Why was this so difficult? If he spent too much time going over all the details, the day would be over before he knew it. When he asked Mercedes for advice on this, she said not to overthink. Follow his heart, and just let Ignatz know how he felt. It would do no good to let doubt and worry cloud his thoughts, and she just wanted to see him happy.

No fanfare, he told himself. No fancy breakfasts or writing a note back in turn. They’d talk over tea, and their feelings would be exchanged. Now, if he could get through the mental hoops of confession without stuttering, he’d like that very much. He took a deep breath, shaking out the rest of his nerves before running off to find the professor, the very important question of what Ignatz’s favorite tea was lingering on his lips.

\--- 

Time felt as though it crawled by at a tauntingly slow pace as Ignatz waited near the dining hall, nervously tapping his fingers against his arm. His stomach swam with nerves and hunger, wanting to wait to eat until Ashe arrived. He had asked a few other students -- well, they weren’t really students anymore, were they? -- if they’d seen him. Many of them gave the same response: they didn’t know, or they saw him talking with the professor about something. 

Waiting to get his exams back felt less agonizing than this. 

This granted him more time to plan what he wanted to do, wanted to say - somehow, he’d smoothed out most of his nerves. He wondered if that’d change once he saw Ashe. After all, countless times, he’d lose himself counting the amount of freckles that laid across his face. They were endless, like stars in the sky, each more captivating than the last. Was he able to capture them all on paper? Perhaps, if all went well, Ashe would love to see those sketches. 

It didn’t take much longer until a certain someone entered his line of view, the smile on his face warm as ever.

“Good morning, Ignatz!” Goddess, he’s just so unfairly beautiful. He could feel the nerves undoing themselves as he spoke. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”   
  
“Not at all.” Ignatz can’t help but smile back. 

“Good! If it’s not too much trouble, ah…” Ashe brushed some hair behind his ear, his eyes focused on Ignatz. “I’d like to have breakfast in the gardens. I got us tea and everything!”

Oh. That’s not what he expected at all. Was Ashe asking him out on a date? Was this his response to the note he’d left in the book, so many years ago? Or were they going to discuss the matter further over tea? His mind couldn’t stick to any track it railed itself on. Come what may, Ashe still wanted to have tea with him, and him alone.

He certainly couldn’t complain, and once his mind caught up to him, he was able to reply. “That sounds heavenly. What kind of tea did you get for us?”

“Lavender.” The two of them began their walk to the gardens, and Ignatz had to resist the urge to brush his fingers against Ashe’s. “...Actually, I asked the professor what your favorite blend was.”

Small a gesture as it was, it spoke volumes. Igantz couldn’t recall the last time in his life he’d felt this special. It was different than the professor noting his favorite meals in the dining hall. This was more than that; this carried an air of intimacy. 

“You… you did?” Ignatz felt as though his heart was about to stop. “I’m very flattered - but you didn’t have to go through such lengths for me. I would’ve been fine with anything.”

“It put a smile on your face, didn’t it? I would say that’s worth it.” Ashe gave a soft chuckle. “I’ve always liked doing things for others, and it really wasn’t any trouble at all. All I had to do was ask, really!”

Warmth crept onto his face, and Ignatz wondered if his heart would make its way through breakfast. "Thank you so much. I'm surprised I never told you my favorite tea, actually."

"I guess we have a lot to catch up on, then." Ashe kept looking at him, expression soft. "I really missed you."

Momentarily, Ignatz forgot how to speak. It was an expected sentiment, yet hearing it made the sun above them shine a little brighter; he didn't doubt too much that they missed one another. “I missed you too, Ashe.”

When the pair finally seated themselves, it was Ashe who elected to serve the tea. Ignatz didn’t dare protest. With his nerves on fire as they were, he was afraid he’d drop the tea pot, spill it all over the table, or a combination of both. He could feel the confession tug at his lips, begging to be said, finally out in the open. 

Ashe had to have read the note. There’s no way he missed it. Was he going to mention it first? Or should he clear the air? Ignatz wrapped his hands around the tea cup, the fresh scent of lavender filling the air between them. Fragrant and soothing as ever. It brought him comfort, and he couldn’t help but notice how close they were sitting near each other. 

Should they start with small talk? Wait, no, they were already making that, weren’t they? Should it continue? His eyes flickered to the small wicker basket of pastries. Ashe really did think ahead - this really was them having breakfast together. Much more than a simple talk over tea. 

“Did you make these?” He reached out to take one - it faintly smelled of strawberries. “I know you love to bake, too.”

“Not this time.” Ashe shook his head, taking a small sip of tea. He took one of his own. “Had I the time, I really would have. ...Ah, but… there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

_ Say something! Anything! Don’t stare at him blankly! _

Ignatz stared at him blankly.

In an instant, scarlet painted itself across Ashe’s face. “I got your note. ...Admittedly, had I gotten it back then, I…” 

Time winded down to a slow and torturous crawl until he spoke up once more.

“I-I would’ve said yes.” 

Now it’s as if time halted to a standstill. Ignatz felt his breath escape him, eyes wide, his face painted with flush as well. He couldn’t find the words. It’s a wonderful dream, come to life - the goddess finally answered his prayers, giving him the answer he’d been waiting to hear.

  
Ashe liked him back.

“Truly?” It came out as a squeak, and Ignatz couldn’t help but wish his voice would stop doing that.

“I mean it.” Ashe’s flustered expression was the greatest thing he’s ever bore witness to. “Honestly, I started liking you shortly after we started talking. You were -- well, are -- really sweet. And really cute.”

Goddess, help him. His heart was daring to burst out of his chest. 

“I know we don’t have a ball to go to now, but… w-well, I was hoping this could be our first date. If not, I’m sure we could find something!” The smile on his face kept growing. It reached his eyes, and they sparkled with such sincerity and warmth that Ignatz swore he was falling for Ashe all over again. “Really, I would just be happy to spend the day with you.”

Once everything had been processed, Ignatz found himself staring at Ashe a little differently than he had before. It was in a new light, under the soft haze of a first love who returned his feelings of a five year long crush. He was more radiant than ever, and for once, he couldn’t decide on what to say - on how to compliment him, to return such warm feelings. So many words clashed in his mind. If Ashe already knew how he felt, his mind told him, he could look to him and say something he’s waited on for quite some time.

“You’re breathtaking,” he whispered. 

If Ashe’s face could fluster any more, Ignatz wasn’t able to tell. He stared at the other man, lips slightly parted, the weight of such beautiful words holding onto his very being.

Ignatz wasn’t sure what caused the sudden burst of confidence to well up in him. Yet, something dared him to lean closer, his hands cupping Ashe’s face as his fingers gently brushed through some of his hair. It’s as soft as he dreamt it was. His fingers rested on the back of his neck, and their eyes met briefly before Ignatz gently placed his lips on Ashe’s. 

He hardly knew the first thing about kissing, other than that it was absolutely wonderful. Ashe’s lips were so warm, and his heart fluttered as he felt a pair of hands on his forearms that then trailed to his waist. Relationships were something new to him, but if this is what they brought, Ignatz couldn’t help but crave every future touch, every future kiss. 

When they parted, Ignatz almost couldn’t believe he was able to do such a thing. There wasn’t a word in all of Fodlan he could use to describe the way Ashe was looking at him, nor the way he was looking back. Had he not heard Ashe’s voice, soft as the morning breeze, Ignatz might have kissed him again.

“Breathtaking,” Ashe repeated in a whisper of his own, “I… I didn’t think anyone would call me that.”

“It’s true.” This time, it was Ignatz who brushed some of Ashe’s hair behind his ear. “...It wasn’t too much, was it?”

“Not at all.” Ashe leaned into the touch, that breathtaking smile on his face. “I wouldn’t mind hearing that again sometime.”

Ignatz smiled softly. “I’ll say it as often as needed, then. I waited five years to tell you how I felt…"

Not only had he gotten stronger for himself, there were others worth protecting. Good people who didn't need to fall victim to the flames of war. A peaceful dawn was something they deserved to see.

"And I can finally say I’m strong enough to protect you as well. I wasn’t too sure of my own strength back then. But now, I want to see this war come to its end with you by my side.” If there was anything he was sure of, it was his desire to keep Ashe safe.

“I’ll protect you too. I promise.” Ashe reached up to take one of Ignatz’s hands with his own, sealing their oath with a kiss on the back of it. “ It is a knight's duty to defend those they care for.”

He wanted to melt on the spot at such a gesture. “We’ll keep each other safe.”

“We’ll continue to grow stronger. For ourselves, and each other.” Ashe’s hands remained clasped around Ignatz’s. “...So we can go home together.”

It was a vow, and one Ignatz didn’t intend to break. His future was his own now, and he wanted it to involve Ashe. He wanted to see what else Fodlan had to offer, to see its beauty… and now, he had his love to do it by. He relished in the feeling of Ashe’s warm hands around his own, and how this was something he had the privilege of enjoying whenever he desired.

“For now, I would love to accompany you to the library.” The day’s hardly begun, and Ignatz can’t help but imagine curling up next to Ashe under a warm blanket, surrounded by their favorite books. “I want to hear more about everything you’ve read.” 

“I’d love to. But I’d love to see your art too, you know.” The tea beside the pair felt long forgotten, the longer they look at one another. “I’m sure it’s gotten even more wonderful since we’ve last seen each other.” 

“It’s just a hobby… but one I’m good at, I suppose.” No, no - he knew he was good. He couldn’t talk like that about himself anymore. “...One I know I’m good at. I’ll be glad to show you everything I’ve made in these past few years.”

Even the lovestruck drawings. He almost can’t wait to see Ashe’s face. 

“Shall we be off, then?” Ashe quickly looked to the side, a small laugh escaping him. “Well, after we finish breakfast. I’d hate to see this go to waste.” 

Ignatz leaned forward to give him another kiss, unable to contain the love in his heart. “I would love nothing more.”


End file.
